


In My Veins - Songbird Short Stories

by an_odd_ducky



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Durincest, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Ficlet, HIV/AIDS, Hurt/Comfort, Incest, M/M, One Shot, Short One Shot, Sibling Incest, Songbird Short Stories, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-15
Updated: 2015-01-15
Packaged: 2018-03-07 15:30:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3176826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/an_odd_ducky/pseuds/an_odd_ducky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Modern AU. Fili visits his brother after Kili is diagnosed with HIV. There are feelings and stuff.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In My Veins - Songbird Short Stories

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone, Ducky here!
> 
> Songbird Short Stories is a project between willaswillow and me. Each Wednesday we announce on tumblr a song choice, and then we each write a ~500 word short story based on our creative interpretations of our own song choices and each other's song choices - so 2 stories each - and post by Sunday. We can use any Hobbit characters/pairing of our choosing.
> 
> WEEK ONE
> 
> Song Inspiration: Lights by Ellie Goulding (chosen by willaswillow)

"Kili?"

Kili closed his eyes, not bothering to roll over in his bed to face the door. His brother shouldn't be here.

The creak of his bedroom door swinging open. The tinny 'pink!' of Fili dropping the spare key in the tray on his chest of drawers. He knew he should have hidden the key better.

"You didn't answer your phone," Fili said. The sadness in his voice made Kili's bones ache. How long would Fili keep checking in on him before the burden was too much?

Kili didn't answer, and Fili didn't pretend to be surprised. This was what they did now.

"Did you take your meds?" 

Kili's passive face hardened. It always came back to this now. 

'Take your ARVs, Kili.'

'Are you following the doctor's instructions for your ART, Kili?'

'Are you sure it's ok for you to do that now, Kili?'

His hand clenched into a fist in his bedsheet.

"Kili, it's really important--"

"I know it's important!"

There was silence for a moment. "You've been taking them, then?"

"Of course I've been taking them," Kili snapped.

"On time?"

Kili jerked around to look at his brother, ready to snap again, ready to tell him to leave, but the darkness under Fili's eyes and the droop to his shoulders stopped him. 

“Yeah,” he answered, quieter than he meant to speak. “Yeah, on time.”

Fili walked over to sit at the corner of his bed – not touching, never touching anymore, not since he was diagnosed.

“Why don’t you come home, Kili? You don’t need to stay in this place. Come back to the apartment. We’ll get things back to normal again.”

“There is no normal anymore,” Kili’s voice cracked. “What, I’m just supposed to—to go back to school? To start dating again? To pretend like people don’t avoid touching me as soon as they know?”

“No one avoids touching—“

Kili’s hand shot out and grabbed Fili by the wrist. To Fili’s credit, he didn’t flinch away, but there was something wild and desperate in his eyes as he studied where Kili’s fingers pressed against his pulse point. 

"How does it feel, Fili? Like you’re flirting with danger? Can you feel the HIV crawling up your arm?” Kili spat bitterly, his eyes dark and sharp as he watched for Fili’s reaction. 

“Kili…”

Kili sighed and dropped his brother’s arm. “What am I going to do in twenty, forty, sixty years, Fee? I don’t...I can’t spend a day alone without sinking into depression. How can I live so many days when I know it won’t ever get any better than this? No one will stay once they know what I could do to them.”

“That’s not true,” Fili whispered. “You know it isn’t true.”

“Sixty years and no one will ever want to kiss me again.”

“It isn’t true!” Fili yelled, and that would have been enough to make Kili jump on its own, but then his warm, dry lips were pressed to his brother’s, and for one beautiful moment, Kili forgot to miss being normal.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first thing I have written in ages, so please forgive how much it sucks. We all get a little rusty now and then.
> 
> Be sure to visit our tumblr blogs for first access to our chosen songs each week: an-odd-ducky.tumblr.com and willaswillow.tumblr.com


End file.
